Isn’t it amazing how one little thing like your children going back to school can cause so much stress in your life.  You know it’s coming and have plenty of time to buy school supplies, but you don’t. I am one of those people who leaves all the “back to school” stuff until the very last minute and then when I actually decide to go shopping there is nothing left except folders with kittens on them and the cheap pencils that aren’t even Number 2 pencils.  I walked across the Target parking lot happy and smiling and it was like I walked through a force field upon entering the store.  All of a sudden I was twitching and talking to myself.  I even have a vague recollection of bumming a cigarette off of someone and I don’t even smoke.  It wasn’t until I was showed the video footage from the store security guard that I realized I had a full on panic attack when I was told there weren’t any Chromebooks in stock.  The police report states I took someone hostage in the candy aisle but we all know you can’t believe everything you read. However, the shopping experience is definitely high on the list of moments I am not proud of but I will say that I paid for all the alcohol and Ring Dings I consumed in the store.

My children, the little darlings that they are, took full advantage of the situation.  Once they saw me loading Velveeta Family Size Shells N Cheese and Frosted Animal Crackers into the carriage (this actually happened) and was mumbling with Doritos cheese on my face, they started asking for everything.  I was in this weird coma like trance and said yes to anything that was asked of me because I didn’t want to think about whether or not we needed it.  I’m pretty sure we walked out of the store with a 50″ plasma television and an Xbox along with the cheap pencils and page protectors.  “Mom, can I get….”, “Yes, just put it in the carriage and stop asking me questions!”

It really got out of control upon entering the sporting goods store next door.  We had one thing to get, one purpose, basketball sneakers.  Seemed easy enough until there were choices and sizes being out of stock.  Next thing I know I am buying multiple pairs of un-needed sneakers and equipment for sports that aren’t even this season.  I think I have a car full of brand new hockey gear and neither of my children play hockey.  I have no idea what I bought but the person behind me in line said thank you to me.  You’re welcome?  Maybe someday I’ll learn and actually plan ahead, it will save me a lot of time and money on lawyer fees.