Happy Fourth of July!  Independence Day, the birth of our country, the day The United States of America was no longer a part of the British Empire.  A day celebrated by all Americans with cookouts, fireworks, parades, and the wearing of red white and blue attire.  One thing you don’t see on this day of freedom is a thank you to those that helped us become a free nation, those that fought in the American Revolution.  We really should incorporate a thank you into this day, don’t you think?  Since it is highly unlikely that any of those Patriots are still alive, how about thanking the ancestors of those brave men and women.  Hey, what a coincidence, that would be me!  What do you know?

Even though I am normally quite humble (insert laughter here) I will step up and take credit for my English ancestors that came to America with the hopes of creating a new nation.  Someone has to do it, right?  I mean come on, the name passed all the way down to me, that has to be worth something.  I think us “pure bloods” need to have papers or a laminated card (laminated anything means business) showing that we are ancestors of our founding fathers and deserve at least a free ice cream on this day.  Shouldn’t we be seeing signs on restaurants “Free Meal to Ancestors”  or “Free Car Wash to Ancestors”, maybe “Free Big Gulp at the 7 Eleven”, something to give a little credit to those that fought for us.

Maybe we could have an ancestor’s group that helps in the decision-making process of the country.  A panel that sits and decides which new citizens are allowed into the country.  I’m sorry sir, you are wearing socks with sandals, try Canada.   Ma’am, even though you seem like a very nice woman, we just don’t wear white before Memorial Day in this country.  You can follow that gentleman to Canada.  Next.  Sir, you are going to have to wait a few minutes, I need to run out and grab my free Big Gulp, I suggest you get a haircut before I return.  I’m going to get a petition started and try to get this up and running before next year.  In the meantime, you’re welcome.