As I find myself in my forties, I look much younger of course, I’m realizing how mellow I am becoming as a person.  I avoid confrontation like the plague and just want to appreciate every aspect of life.  I still hate just about everyone but I no longer feel the need to tell them.  It’s amazing that I was able to become such a softie considering how extreme of a change that is from how I used to be.  I wish the people that I tormented back in the day could see how I’ve become so they can cross me off of their list of people to kill, before it’s too late.   I wouldn’t say I’ve matured because I still have the sense of humor of a child and I’m not sure if I would go so far as to say I’m wise, I am still dumb as a stump.

When I was young I would look for confrontation.  Thank goodness none of the girls in Tello’s in the Meadow Glen Mall ever took me up on the threats I made.  Considering the mouth I had on me, I am proud to say I never got in a physical fight.  Very, very close.  I even had a girl’s mother standing by saying “kick her ass Kristen” to a girl I was mouthing off to.  No wait, my best friend was mouthing off to her but I always had her back.  Like Dione Warwick said, that’s what friends are for.  Seriously though, I was even starting fights in elementary school.  Here’s a tip, don’t try to fight a girl in library class when her mother is the Librarian.  See what I mean, I haven’t always been the sharpest tool in the shed.

Then I got my license and found myself using my right hand to steer while my left hand with middle finger extended hung out the window at all times to be prepared.  I knew every swear word, or so I thought until I started a coloring group using swear word coloring books.  There are some good ones I never even thought of, I can only imagine how great life would have been if I utilized some of those words when I was young.  Anyway, not only did I know them but I made sure I found situations to use them on a daily basis.  God forbid you dated my ex-boyfriend.  I would sit in front of your house, of course with the same best friend, and wait for you while using some of my favorite words.  Yup, I’m embarrassed to say, I was that girl.

But here I am now, smiling and waving to all of those nice drivers on the road that want to show me their middle finger.  I never swear in front of my children and find myself saying Jiminy Crickets which always cracks my mother up, nor do I find it acceptable for them to swear.  Unfortunately I’ve made up for that by teaching them the fine art of political incorrectness.  Better than them learning it on the streets I always say!  However, I like to think I have become a nice person.  I try anyway.  I try every day to be better than I was the day before.  It’s kind of like a song on repeat because I don’t always succeed.  It’s definitely a work in process.   Don’t worry though, the old Stephanie is still in there and I will mess you up if you do anything to my family.